Ladies Your Man's Anger is Nothing to Do with You

Marcus Matthews • 17 April 2024

Why men's mental health is suffering and why ladies you might not be helping

This may be a difficult read for some, but try to see men from a different angle and not through the lens of the femine.

Understanding the complex landscape of men's communication style is essential when it comes to mental health and offering support. In today's society where the traditional norms of expressing emotions are being reevaluated, men's mental health is of paramount importance, not only because of the lower prevalence of certain mental disorders in men compared to women, but also due to the higher rates of suicide among men.

The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) highlights that while mental disorders affect both men and women, the expression of these disorders, as well as their impact, can differ significantly due to biological and psychosocial factors. For instance, men are more likely to exhibit symptoms like anger, irritability, or aggressiveness, and they have a higher likelihood of dying by suicide than women.

Conversly the impact of not allowing men to express through anger leads to more violence and this has a direct impact when it comes to domestic violence.

A recent post about this subject on TikTok brought a barage of abuse from women and it proved the point that women do not fully understand the emotional language and natural expression of men and instead of becoming educated expect men to communicate and show up like women.

Both men and women get angry, the challenge her is that supressed emotions that lead to suprression of anger, lonliness and not being heard can ultimatley errupt into violence because men express through action. If we don't allow me to express their anger safely then of course we get the worst case scenario.

Anger is natural in all sexes and to allow it to come out safely with no judgement, shame, guilt or validation will reduce physical harm. Of course seeking professional help is always advised, but the need to feel safe first in expressing ourselves is key and women have their part to play in supporting not judging men.


Societal expectations often discourage men from seeking help or expressing vulnerabilities in a way that is natural, which can exacerbate feelings of isolation, depression, and anxiety.

The Mayo Clinic emphasises that untreated depression can lead to severe consequences, affecting one's health, career, and personal safety. Therefore, seeking help when needed and understanding the root cause to why you feel the way you do is essential, so you can effectively communicate your needs safely.

Whilst talking about your feelings can be helpful, for some the vast majority of men, they express through action and unfortunatley with 80% of women facilitating therapy and 80% of people accessing therapy, there is a strong bias that the treatments or support services that seem effective are based on a large amount of data that does not take energy expression into account.

When I say energy expression, some females maybe naturally more masculine and some men maybe more femine but on the main masculine men need action oriented solutions to express their emotions and when they don't find these that energy builds until one small interaction may light the fuse.


For women seeking to support men in their lives, understanding these dynamics is crucial. Recognising that anger or irritability might be expressions of deeper emotional turmoil is the first step, remember that society has told men not to be angry and they are trying their best, but that energy has to go somewhere. Providing a non-judgmental space for men to express their emotions, offering physical comfort like a hug when appropriate, and simply being present can make a significant difference.

Many times when men become frustrated or angry this creates a fear response in women, which will take the women into the masucline, this is not what the man needs, he needs safety and protection, this is expressed by the true femine who can hold space for that inner child, he needs space to work through what is going on.

Remember it's not about you.


The conversation around men's mental health is evolving, and it's vital for both men and women to participate in this dialogue and understand how we express energy in different ways. Unfortunatley societal supression of mental health has led to stories that an angry man equals a violent man and this is not true,

By fostering an environment where emotional expression is not only accepted but encouraged, we can take meaningful steps toward addressing the mental health crisis facing men today and ladies you need to be part of the solution, not the problem, by looking at mens needs through a different lens, is crucial.

Understanding, patience, and empathy from loved ones can serve as a strong foundation for men to feel seen, heard, and supported in navigating their mental health challenges.

We all have mental health, but the basis of all mental health regardless of sex is psychological safety - The ability to express and communicate our needs in a safe none judgmental space.

What are your thoughts as a man and ladies can you see how a different lens on helping your man could lead to a more peaceful and happy life for all?

Drop a comment and if you would like to start your journey to understanding more about psychological safety then click the button below.

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