Get in touch
555-555-5555
mymail@mailservice.com
Kindness - Mental Health Awareness Week 2020
noreply • 18 May 2020
What a great topic for Mental Health Awareness Week, but I want to share with you a different angle.
Firstly, though I want to share the fundamentals of this campaign from the Mental Health Foundation before I put my spin on what I believe is the missing link.
Why kindness?
We have chosen kindness because of its singular ability to unlock our shared humanity. Kindness strengthens relationships, develops community and deepens solidarity. It is a cornerstone of our individual and collective mental health. Wisdom from every culture across history recognises that kindness is something that all human beings need to experience and practise to be fully alive.
Kindness and Mental Health
Kindness is defined by doing something towards yourself and others, motivated by genuine desire to make a positive difference.
We know from the research that kindness and our mental health are deeply connected. The research shows that kindness is an antidote to isolation and creates a sense of belonging. It helps reduce stress, brings a fresh perspective and deepens friendships. Kindness to ourselves can prevent shame from corroding our sense of identity and help boost our self-esteem.
Kindness can even improve feelings of confidence and optimism.
Kindness is an act of courage
But kindness is an intrinsically risky endeavour. It can risk us looking foolish or being taken advantage of, which is why we sometimes retreat. To receive or to give kindness is an act of courage. We want to use Mental Health Awareness Week to support each other to take that brave step and harness the benefits for both giver and receiver.
A kinder society?
We have a once in a generation opportunity not only during but also following this pandemic for a reset and re-think about what kind of society we want to emerge from this crisis.
Our own reports and others such as Sir Michael Marmot’s 10 years On report reveal how inequality is rising in our society and its harmful effects on our health. Life expectancy is falling for the poorest for the first time in 100 years. As child poverty rises, children and young people in the poorest parts of our country are two to three times
more likely to experience poor mental health than those in the richest. After the 2008 credit crunch it was the most vulnerable in our communities who experienced the severest consequences of austerity, with devastating effects on their mental and physical health. This not the hallmark of a kind society. We must not make the same mistakes after this pandemic.
Applied kindness could have a transformative impact on our schools, places of work, communities and families. As the former Governor of the Bank of England, Mark Carney, has said, now is a time to put values above valuations. We must seize this time to shape a society that tips the balance in favour of good mental health, for all of us, but especially for those who are most vulnerable.
Kindness Matters – what you can do
During Mental Health Awareness Week in May, we will release new data to reveal how many of us experience kindness in the UK and a summary of the latest evidence about its important mental health benefits. There will be tips, fundraising ideas and stories that we hope will inspire you.
We know that one act of kindness can lead to many more. This is the type of community action that we need to inspire others as we discover our connection to each other and extend kindness to ourselves.
#KindnessMatters and #MentalHealthAwarenessWeek
Source – Date 18/05/2020
My Thoughts on Kindness
“Kindness is having the vulnerability of service, with the courage to say I have got you, but putting yourself first before serving others.”
Kindness has a price, everything we do has a risk attached.
For many those who are kind, the plain simple fact is that they honour service to others before themselves, they are intrinsically kind and do so through values passed down from generation to generation, influenced by society, religion and other doctrine.
Yet fearing death and not serving the right god, company ethos or family expectation keeps many of us in bondage, wanting to feel belonging, whatever the cost.
Give service to a higher power to look outside and serve something greater than ourselves.
Kindness is to give to the person with no money, even if you then become poor, to help the needy without the correct equipment because it is for the greater good.
The issue here is you can’t drink from an empty cup.
I speak with so many amazing people who like myself have put others before themselves, due to the simple fact that to do anything other than that is to be selfish.
Let us take the present state of our public sector, as the politicians and media keep us clapping for keyworkers, trying to raise our spirits, as people raise money for an NHS that is already paid for through taxation.
In our time of need the politicians pay themselves more.
The truth is this show of appreciation offers no solace to the care worker who got up at 5am and is not due home until 9pm, or the emergency worker who is being forced to work 12 hour shifts to keep lid on the disaster that has being playing out for the last decade, as the rich are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer.
Yet we do it out of kindness, service a cause bigger than ourselves but one that does not serve us. We are kind and give to others and sacrifice ourselves.
How many of you know the boss that tells you how amazing you are, yet fails to give you the pay rise or promotion, buys the team cakes, yet fails to take your personal development review seriously.
Yet as the kind caring person you continue giving, being dutiful to a person, organisation, maybe your family because you are the kind one, the empath, you are held in such high esteem, like the gladiators of Rome you are honoured, clapped, until you are finally slain and you are thrown onto the pile, for someone will take your place have no doubt.
Kindness starts from within, my own journey which I talk about in my book Drowning in Anxiety, documents my own realisation, that I was being played most of my life, but I never knew why.
The familiar.
The subconscious mind loves the familiar, therefore good or bad it cares not.
The mind cares not if you are kind or evil, its job is to do one thing. Keep you alive. Good or bad is just a perspective based on your environment, both physical and mental.
Once something is familiar, it is part of your survival strategy, it is your guide for living.
A guide which experience has kept you breathing and until a new set of tools are found it will either keep you in the suffering state or the beautiful state.
How many of you reading this wake up and say:
“I feel awful”
Yet you continue on, it is simple, your subconscious is running your life and you are trying to figure it out with your conscious logical brain.
This is no different to the key worker who goes to work every day, tired, repressed but does so because they have a sense of service to others, to be kind to others and if they question it, they are thrown a crumb by their masters and take it as their need to survive is greater than their need to thrive.
Why are you not thriving?
Often many will choose to climb the ladder, willing to sacrifice their own self worth in the opposite direction, to sacrifice kindness to join the oppressors, the controllers and they will do anything to prove their worth – these people we may call selfish, they are not, they are surviving using the tools that they have been given and they have simply made a choice.
To me there only ever seemed to be 2 choices, be kind, loyal to your purpose and suffer or do what it takes and be loyal to the master above you, rising up whatever the cost.
There is another way, a kinder way
I believe everyone should live a fulfilled and happy life, when you free yourself of the stories you tell yourself everyday, you can start to open your eyes to the single truth that being selfish is not the right of the few, it is the right of everyone.
When you fill your own cup, with your truth, your purpose, your why and can be vulnerable in that process, you develop a courage that allows you to stand tall.
To say this is me, when you go inside and find the truth about the stories you tell yourself you find those stories are false.
Stories which are but a moment, a season in your life.
Moments are full stops in your journey and the greatest moments are contained in kindness, in a shared experience of love, peace and freedom.
Love peace and freedom are created within the stories you tell yourself everyday.
So before you give a kind word to another, give it to yourself, before you give a moment to another, give it to yourself, before you sacrifice your money, time, energy, give it to yourself and then see it amplify within you.
As that feeling amplifies, let the world see it and you will attract all the abundance in the world and when your cup is full, let it overflow so others can then drink from the kindness that flows from you.
You could invest your money in things or invest it in your dream and vision, your secret desire and see it amplify so you do not help one person but thousands.
Only then will you truly be free.
So, start with being kind to yourself, you are worth that and nothing else and remember:
“A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees.” – Amelia Earhart
So plant that seed in you today, get rid of the weeds and one day, the kindness you show yourself will allow you to produce the kindness to feed those who travel behind you on the journey to abundance.
Marcus Matthews
Kindness has a price, everything we do has a risk attached.
For many those who are kind, the plain simple fact is that they honour service to others before themselves, they are intrinsically kind and do so through values passed down from generation to generation, influenced by society, religion and other doctrine.
Those who give the most are often the ones who will sacrifice themselves so that others may benefit, the Jesus story is one of ultimate sacrifice, that one should be willing to die for their purpose.
Yet fearing death and not serving the right god, company ethos or family expectation keeps many of us in bondage, wanting to feel belonging, whatever the cost.
So we are taught to give to others and sacrifice ourselves because if God sacrificed his son, then that must be the only way to serve.
Give service to a higher power to look outside and serve something greater than ourselves.
Kindness is to give to the person with no money, even if you then become poor, to help the needy without the correct equipment because it is for the greater good.
The issue here is you can’t drink from an empty cup.
I speak with so many amazing people who like myself have put others before themselves, due to the simple fact that to do anything other than that is to be selfish.
Let us take the present state of our public sector, as the politicians and media keep us clapping for keyworkers, trying to raise our spirits, as people raise money for an NHS that is already paid for through taxation.
In our time of need the politicians pay themselves more.
In our time of need the politicians pay themselves more.
The truth is this show of appreciation offers no solace to the care worker who got up at 5am and is not due home until 9pm, or the emergency worker who is being forced to work 12 hour shifts to keep lid on the disaster that has being playing out for the last decade, as the rich are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer.
Yet we do it out of kindness, service a cause bigger than ourselves but one that does not serve us. We are kind and give to others and sacrifice ourselves.
How many of you know the boss that tells you how amazing you are, yet fails to give you the pay rise or promotion, buys the team cakes, yet fails to take your personal development review seriously.
Yet as the kind caring person you continue giving, being dutiful to a person, organisation, maybe your family because you are the kind one, the empath, you are held in such high esteem, like the gladiators of Rome you are honoured, clapped, until you are finally slain and you are thrown onto the pile, for someone will take your place have no doubt.
Kindness starts from within, my own journey which I talk about in my book Drowning in Anxiety, documents my own realisation, that I was being played most of my life, but I never knew why.
The familiar.
The subconscious mind loves the familiar, therefore good or bad it cares not.
The mind cares not if you are kind or evil, its job is to do one thing. Keep you alive. Good or bad is just a perspective based on your environment, both physical and mental.
Once something is familiar, it is part of your survival strategy, it is your guide for living.
A guide which experience has kept you breathing and until a new set of tools are found it will either keep you in the suffering state or the beautiful state.
How many of you reading this wake up and say:
“I feel awful”
“I look so fat”
“I can’t do this anymore”
“I hate my job”
“I hate my life”
Yet you continue on, it is simple, your subconscious is running your life and you are trying to figure it out with your conscious logical brain.
This is no different to the key worker who goes to work every day, tired, repressed but does so because they have a sense of service to others, to be kind to others and if they question it, they are thrown a crumb by their masters and take it as their need to survive is greater than their need to thrive.
Why are you not thriving?
Often many will choose to climb the ladder, willing to sacrifice their own self worth in the opposite direction, to sacrifice kindness to join the oppressors, the controllers and they will do anything to prove their worth – these people we may call selfish, they are not, they are surviving using the tools that they have been given and they have simply made a choice.
To me there only ever seemed to be 2 choices, be kind, loyal to your purpose and suffer or do what it takes and be loyal to the master above you, rising up whatever the cost.
There is another way, a kinder way
I believe everyone should live a fulfilled and happy life, when you free yourself of the stories you tell yourself everyday, you can start to open your eyes to the single truth that being selfish is not the right of the few, it is the right of everyone.
When you fill your own cup, with your truth, your purpose, your why and can be vulnerable in that process, you develop a courage that allows you to stand tall.
To say this is me, when you go inside and find the truth about the stories you tell yourself you find those stories are false.
Stories which are but a moment, a season in your life.
Moments are full stops in your journey and the greatest moments are contained in kindness, in a shared experience of love, peace and freedom.
Love peace and freedom are created within the stories you tell yourself everyday.
Love peace and freedom are created within the stories you tell yourself everyday.
So before you give a kind word to another, give it to yourself, before you give a moment to another, give it to yourself, before you sacrifice your money, time, energy, give it to yourself and then see it amplify within you.
As that feeling amplifies, let the world see it and you will attract all the abundance in the world and when your cup is full, let it overflow so others can then drink from the kindness that flows from you.
You could invest your money in things or invest it in your dream and vision, your secret desire and see it amplify so you do not help one person but thousands.
Only then will you truly be free.
So, start with being kind to yourself, you are worth that and nothing else and remember:
“A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees.” – Amelia Earhart
So plant that seed in you today, get rid of the weeds and one day, the kindness you show yourself will allow you to produce the kindness to feed those who travel behind you on the journey to abundance.
Marcus Matthews
c.RTT c.HYP
Rapid Transformational Therapist and Coach
www.makeyourlifecount.co.uk
A few months ago, I came into the possession of two profound experiences that forever changed the way I view life, faith, and personal growth. These revelations helped me break free from limiting beliefs and pointed me toward a path of greater clarity and empowerment. Today, I’d like to share these insights with you, not as an expert, but as someone who has walked through the maze of doubt and found a clearer way forward, one which allows you to feel more at peace.
What does God, The Law of Attraction and Success have in common? In this blog I discuss a profound insight which came from a conversation about God, Religion and Church. As part of my own spiritual journey I have started to discover The Bible and God, after a 44 year absence. This time with a wiser head I still had the same question I did when I was 6 years old - Why Do I Need To Go To Church? At a service about 6 months ago a Pastor said of Matthew 18:20, “ For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them,” he was emphasising the profound importance of community in the Church and this was the place to find God - I still wasn't convinced. Although I understood this, I have never felt God's presence in church and further reading, the truth of this verse is that it emphasises the profound importance of community and connection not just the church. It reminds believers that Christ’s presence is not confined to large congregations or grand buildings but is found wherever people come together in His name—whether in worship, prayer, fellowship or more importantly service. This verse assures us that even the smallest gatherings are sacred spaces where Christ works to guide, strengthen, and unify His followers. But Wait...... This is when it hit me, and in this article I want to discuss how this verse may have been hijacked by the church because this same principle is also discussed in books Like Think and Grow Rich, and runs through many other practices when it comes to finding success or as I like to call it inner peace. This is why connection to a divine purpose, be that from a spiritual, personal or business perspective is all about aligning with those who serve others to improve humanity not those who wish to take your divine energy.
This video was from a Keynote talk on the 16th November 2024 at The Mecure Hotel Abbotswell Chester
Why are clinical professionals unable to think outside their narrow remit - we need to balance the power
Have you ever felt invisible, as if your love and light were too much for the world to handle? If you've struggled with loneliness, self-doubt, or feeling unappreciated, you're not alone. In this blog, I share my journey through these emotions, offering a message of hope and courage for those who have been to the darkest places. Together, let’s explore how embracing your light—even when it feels unseen—can lead to a deeper purpose. You are not alone.
We often don't realise how much our life is influenced by past generations. In this article I want to share why you may not feel your ready to make change but what is the impact on future generations - Todays decisions impact tomorrows results
It's a Sunday evening and my Whats App pings a message from a Grandmother deperate to help her Granddaughter who is on a downward spiral due to a Ketamine addiction. A familar story as services stuggle to help people. In this blog I reveal the reason why she was addicted and why traditional methods don't always work
6 years ago this month my life took a dramatic turn and in this blog I want to explain from a mans perspective why we need to give men purpose
The Power of Now: How the Present Shapes the Future and Why Understanding the Past Can Transform Today As I sat down for a Sunday meal with my family, surrounded by the familiar warmth of loved ones, I had no idea that a simple conversation would unlock a profound insight into my own wellbeing journey. The discussion veered into our family history, where I discovered that my Great Grandmother had suffered from severe mental health issues and was subjected to Electroconvulsive Therapy (ECT). This revelation sparked a cascade of thoughts, leading me to reflect on how the past, even events from generations ago, shapes our present reality and how understanding this connection can empower us to change our future and how we can either change the course of history for good or we can continue that trauma for generations to come. Our lives are intricately woven with threads from the past, some of which may have been spun long before we were even born. The experiences, traumas, and coping mechanisms of our ancestors can subtly influence our beliefs, behaviours, and emotional responses. Often, we find ourselves stuck in patterns of thinking and acting that seem impossible to change. Much of this resistance to change stems from the fact that our minds are designed to seek comfort in the familiar. When we attempt to alter our habits or challenge long-held beliefs, our subconscious mind, which is heavily influenced by our past experiences, pushes back. This is a protective mechanism, intended to keep us safe from perceived threats, even if those threats are outdated or no longer relevant. From my own experience and that of my clients, I've seen how powerful these inherited patterns can be. For many, understanding that these feelings and behaviours may have deep roots—sometimes extending to previous generations—can be a revelation. It's as though we're carrying the emotional legacy of our ancestors without even realising it. Is it worth considering we are living history and we may look back and realise the mainstream ideas may not be as effective as we believe. The NHS Talking Therapies programme, which includes counselling, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), and psychotherapy, has been shown to be effective for many individuals dealing with anxiety, depression, and other mental health conditions. According to the latest data, around 50% of people who completed their course of treatment through these services moved to recovery, meaning they were no longer considered to have clinical anxiety or depression by the end of their therapy. Note moved to recovery not resolved. CBT, which is one of the most commonly used therapies within the NHS, accounts for over 40% of all therapy courses and has a recovery rate of approximately 44.5%. While CBT focuses on addressing current issues by changing negative thought patterns and behaviours, it often does not delve into the deeper, underlying causes of these mental health issues, which may be rooted in past experiences. For those looking for a more profound and lasting change, hypnotherapy offers an alternative by accessing the subconscious mind to uncover and address these deep-rooted emotional drives. This approach can help individuals not only manage their symptoms but also resolve the underlying issues that contribute to their mental health struggles. Electroconvulsive Therapy, once a common treatment for severe mental health conditions, has seen a significant decline in use. This decline is largely due to advances in understanding the brain, the development of more effective and less invasive treatments, and the recognition of the potential negative side effects of ECT, such as memory loss and cognitive impairment. The landscape of mental health treatment has shifted towards a more holistic approach, one that takes into account the psychological, emotional, and social factors that contribute to mental wellbeing. This is a positive change, but it also highlights the importance of understanding the root causes of our mental health challenges. Simply treating the symptoms, as ECT often did, is no longer sufficient. Instead, there is a growing recognition of the need to address the underlying issues, many of which may be rooted in our past. You see we don't go from perfectly OK to suffering with our mental health it's a slow decline, and yes there is a spectrum, but in general in todays world ECT has been replaced with drugs and coping mechnisms, so has the world really changed? While modern methods of talking therapy often focus on managing symptoms and exploring surface-level thoughts and feelings, they sometimes fall short of addressing the deep-rooted emotional drives that influence our behaviours. These therapies can provide valuable insights and coping strategies, but they may not always reach the underlying causes of emotional distress, which are often buried in the subconscious mind. Hypnotherapy, by contrast, delves into these deeper layers of the mind, uncovering and addressing the core issues that drive our emotional responses. By accessing the subconscious, hypnotherapy can facilitate profound and lasting change, helping individuals to resolve the root causes of their struggles rather than simply managing the symptoms. In my journey of self-discovery, I've come to realise that understanding the past is not about dwelling on it, but rather about using it as a tool for change. When we recognise the origins of our beliefs and behaviours, we gain the power to rewrite the narrative. We can transform adversity into opportunity by reframing our experiences, shifting our perspective, and creating new, healthier patterns of thinking. This approach is not about blaming our ancestors or feeling burdened by their experiences. Instead, it's about acknowledging the impact of the past on our present and using that knowledge to shape a better future. By understanding how our minds work and the role of the past in shaping our present reality, we can make conscious choices to break free from negative patterns and create a life that aligns with our true desires and values.
What if we saw the beauty in everyones personal gifts - How would the world look and feel? In this blog I would like you to consider how the labels placed upon us define our path in life. With the increase in neurodivergence, has anything really changed when it comes to recognising peoples unique gifts or are we just creating new sociatal labels, which appear more acceptable? Are workplaces more inclusive or are we just polorising people by giving them a lable? What if we stripped away the label and saw the human how would that change our actions and behaviours? Who are you without a label, take if off and then define yourself? This question encourages a profound self-exploration, particularly for those navigating life with ADHD and other neurodiverse conditions, with an ever growing need to label difference, are we forgetting the beauty of diversity? Redefining Neurodiversity and Neurotypical: A Different Perspective Neurodiversity encompasses a range of differences, including ADHD, autism, dyslexia, and more, whilst Neurotypical refers to individuals whose neurological development and functioning are typical, aligning with what is considered the societal norm. Now it begs the question what is normal and as a society are we thriving? These labels of course are useful to understand each other but are typically labelled as "disorders," and in a world that seems more disordered than ever I think we need to look again at the way we label people, what if we challenge that narrative? Instead of viewing neurodiversity as a series of deficits, we can see it as a spectrum of unique perspectives and abilities. "Neurodiversity is not a defect. It’s a different way of thinking." The one thing we need in the world today is a different way of thinking This shift in perspective transforms perceived limitations into strengths. For example, individuals with ADHD often exhibit exceptional creativity, problem-solving skills, and resilience. These are not just compensations for a disorder but are superpowers that can lead to incredible achievements. The Power of Labels: Empowerment or Excuse? Labels can provide clarity and community, but they can also become crutches. Owning the label of ADHD or another neurodiverse condition can sometimes be an excuse to avoid action. However, it’s essential to move beyond the label and embrace the unique abilities it signifies. Questions for Reflection: Are you as a leader finding more people using neurodiversity as an excuse and why? What are my true passions and interests, beyond the roles and labels I identify with or others place upon me? How would I describe myself and my abilities if I couldn't use any labels or diagnoses? What unique strengths and perspectives do I bring to my relationships and work and why is that? How would I approach challenges differently if I viewed them through the lens of personal growth rather than limitations? What possibilities could open up if you focused on potential rather than conforming to societal expectations? How are you using your unique perspective to empower yourself and others? Are you embracing and loving who you truly are, or are you using your skills as an excuse to fit in? These questions encourage self-awareness and growth. It’s about recognising the incredible capabilities you possess and leveraging them to make a positive impact. Embracing Authenticity: Beyond Judgement, Shame, and Guilt The journey of self-acceptance involves overcoming judgment, shame, guilt, and the need for validation. Society often imposes standards that make neurodiverse individuals feel less than or different. However, embracing your true self means letting go of these external pressures, regardless of whether you define yourself as neurodiverse or neurotypical. "Your value is not determined by how well you fit into societal norms, but by how authentically you live your truth." Moving Forward: Action Steps Celebrate Your Strengths: Identify the unique skills and abilities that come with who you are. Write them down and reflect on how your unique skills can contribute to your personal and professional life – ditch the label. Make a shift: Challenge the narrative that labels give. Instead, view the world in a different way, let’s experiencing the world, with its own set of advantages. Seek Supportive Communities: Surround yourself with people who understand and appreciate you. Although therapy can give insights to your past and coaching can give you stratergies for the future, there are many people who have walked your path. Find someone who can help you navigate the world and teach you how to love your gifts, not love the label. Mentors can be a source of great knowledge and inspiration, more over they can instil confidence and empower you to move forward. Set Empowering Goals: Use your unique abilities to set and achieve goals that align with your passions and strengths. Focus on what you can do, rather than what you can't. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. Understand that everyone has challenges and that your worth is not diminished by them. Final Thoughts Reframing the labels society puts on us allows for a more empowering and inclusive approach. By embracing who you truly are, you can transform perceived limitations into incredible strengths. Remember, your unique perspective is not just valid—it’s invaluable. Who are you without a label? You are a person with unique abilities, a valuable perspective, and the potential to make a significant impact on the world. Embrace it, own it, and use it to empower yourself and others. Who do you know who needs to hear this and what do you need to ditch the label and step into your own unique brilliance? Share this post with someone who needs to step into their truth and if you need further support then feel free to book a free call to find out how I can help you ditch the label and turn adversity into oppotunity. Why not watch my Positive Mindset Webinar where I teach you the foundations of stepping into your trueself. Book NOW
Main Office
1, Hartley Business Centre, Office, Unit 8 Monkmoor Rd, Shrewsbury SY2 5ST | 03333 053383 | transform@makeyourlifecount.co.uk
Copyright © All Rights Reserved.