So we are taught to give to others and sacrifice ourselves because if God sacrificed his son, then that must be the only way to serve.
Give service to a higher power to look outside and serve something greater than ourselves.
Kindness is to give to the person with no money, even if you then become poor, to help the needy without the correct equipment because it is for the greater good.
The issue here is you can’t drink from an empty cup.
I speak with so many amazing people who like myself have put others before themselves, due to the simple fact that to do anything other than that is to be selfish.
Let us take the present state of our public sector, as the politicians and media keep us clapping for keyworkers, trying to raise our spirits, as people raise money for an NHS that is already paid for through taxation.
In our time of need the politicians pay themselves more.
The truth is this show of appreciation offers no solace to the care worker who got up at 5am and is not due home until 9pm, or the emergency worker who is being forced to work 12 hour shifts to keep lid on the disaster that has being playing out for the last decade, as the rich are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer.
Yet we do it out of kindness, service a cause bigger than ourselves but one that does not serve us. We are kind and give to others and sacrifice ourselves.
How many of you know the boss that tells you how amazing you are, yet fails to give you the pay rise or promotion, buys the team cakes, yet fails to take your personal development review seriously.
Yet as the kind caring person you continue giving, being dutiful to a person, organisation, maybe your family because you are the kind one, the empath, you are held in such high esteem, like the gladiators of Rome you are honoured, clapped, until you are finally slain and you are thrown onto the pile, for someone will take your place have no doubt.
Kindness starts from within, my own journey which I talk about in my book Drowning in Anxiety, documents my own realisation, that I was being played most of my life, but I never knew why.
The familiar.
The subconscious mind loves the familiar, therefore good or bad it cares not.
The mind cares not if you are kind or evil, its job is to do one thing. Keep you alive. Good or bad is just a perspective based on your environment, both physical and mental.
Once something is familiar, it is part of your survival strategy, it is your guide for living.
A guide which experience has kept you breathing and until a new set of tools are found it will either keep you in the suffering state or the beautiful state.
How many of you reading this wake up and say:
“I feel awful”
“I look so fat”
“I can’t do this anymore”
“I hate my job”
“I hate my life”
Yet you continue on, it is simple, your subconscious is running your life and you are trying to figure it out with your conscious logical brain.
This is no different to the key worker who goes to work every day, tired, repressed but does so because they have a sense of service to others, to be kind to others and if they question it, they are thrown a crumb by their masters and take it as their need to survive is greater than their need to thrive.
Why are you not thriving?
Often many will choose to climb the ladder, willing to sacrifice their own self worth in the opposite direction, to sacrifice kindness to join the oppressors, the controllers and they will do anything to prove their worth – these people we may call selfish, they are not, they are surviving using the tools that they have been given and they have simply made a choice.
To me there only ever seemed to be 2 choices, be kind, loyal to your purpose and suffer or do what it takes and be loyal to the master above you, rising up whatever the cost.
There is another way, a kinder way
I believe everyone should live a fulfilled and happy life, when you free yourself of the stories you tell yourself everyday, you can start to open your eyes to the single truth that being selfish is not the right of the few, it is the right of everyone.
When you fill your own cup, with your truth, your purpose, your why and can be vulnerable in that process, you develop a courage that allows you to stand tall.
To say this is me, when you go inside and find the truth about the stories you tell yourself you find those stories are false.
Stories which are but a moment, a season in your life.
Moments are full stops in your journey and the greatest moments are contained in kindness, in a shared experience of love, peace and freedom.
Love peace and freedom are created within the stories you tell yourself everyday.
So before you give a kind word to another, give it to yourself, before you give a moment to another, give it to yourself, before you sacrifice your money, time, energy, give it to yourself and then see it amplify within you.
As that feeling amplifies, let the world see it and you will attract all the abundance in the world and when your cup is full, let it overflow so others can then drink from the kindness that flows from you.
You could invest your money in things or invest it in your dream and vision, your secret desire and see it amplify so you do not help one person but thousands.
Only then will you truly be free.
So, start with being kind to yourself, you are worth that and nothing else and remember:
“A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees.” – Amelia Earhart
So plant that seed in you today, get rid of the weeds and one day, the kindness you show yourself will allow you to produce the kindness to feed those who travel behind you on the journey to abundance.
Marcus Matthews
c.RTT c.HYP
Rapid Transformational Therapist and Coach
www.makeyourlifecount.co.uk