Where does that inner critic come from?
I am going to let you into a secret. My own struggles with anxiety were never realised until my mind and body forced me down a path I was unwilling to go.
You don't go from feeling amazing and free to feeling the symptoms of stress and anxiety over night. Like poison dripping into a lake over time, it is only when the fish are gone and the lake is left dead and dying do we ask the question WHY?
You see you aren't born with anxiety, depression or in fact anything other than the will to live, survive and up to the age of around 8 we absorb our environment taking it as read, this is what life looks like. We learn this from family, friends, teachers and our environmental experiences.
After 8 we often start to look outside the tribe to seek purpose, fulfillment, to explore and try new things.
During this period we will often feel stress and anxiousness as we gain independence, questioning our own values and that of others. We create feelings as markers and then attach stories as a reference to justify them. How we are taught to de-code those experiences is often the difference between those who thrive and those who survive.
We create a belief system that we are different, not good enough and that our story has been written and we will never escape, and why is it that we don't believe that story can change?
Well we are all different and the way we react and act is going to be influenced by what we believe about ourselves and the world, but based on what?
The image top right is taken from an article by my mentor Marisa Peer about Stress and Anxiety in Children.
https://marisapeer.com/stress-and-anxiety-in-children/
But I want you to consider that actual stress, anxiety, depression, illness, whatever label you want to attach are all based on our own inner child's reaction to the stories we tell ourselves everyday.
So consider are your thoughts yours now, or are they the voice of a small child trapped in a moment?
Where does that inner critic come from?
I am not going to give you tips and tricks about coping and managing anxiety because I would prefer to allow you to think about this feeling in a different way.
If you have ever suffered with any type of anxiety, self doubt, lack of confidence and self esteem issue, where did that feeling first manifest?
If you took time you may well be able to pin point a moment, event, a trigger if you will.
Then I want you to consider how damaging that label has become and how you are given coping and managing techniques.
But also seek the evidence, because you weren't born feeling that way, so maybe that event was not the root cause at all.
There is so much good work that goes into helping people, but look at the words of influence above from the people who are the experts, look at the words your inner child is locking onto.
Try, find out, use, plan, consider, listen.
All logical processes used to help reduce, cope and manage a feeling.
That feeling is not logical, it is emotional, irrational, subconscious. It is an emotion created long ago.
What advice would you give a 4 year old, I am guessing a coping strategy wouldn't be number one on the list.
If the root of your feelings were planted at 4, your subconscious beliefs, grounded in your mind at 6 and then those thoughts embedded until you were 45, no wonder you can't think, talk and create a strategy to feel free.
It is well documented that when our fight, flight or freeze response kicks in, logical communication decreases as the cloud of doubt descends in the form of cortisol.
These techniques, including breathing and medication only give a temporary reprieve and are fine when we feel anxious, but when that turns into anxiety we stand at a cross roads, one in which we either accept a label or we hide, hoping the world won't see us.
So consider this...................
If you did get help, do you want a label or do you want to feel free once more?
Do you want someone to give you a coping strategy and a kind ear to release that pain or an understanding of where that journey started and the tools to free yourself?
Why not consider getting to the root cause, the scene place event and time when that inner child changed and reverse the feeling with the knowledge you now have as an adult.
Consider that in 21 days or less you could start on a journey back to you.
Then consider getting in touch?
Your choice, Your Life, Your Dreams, Your Time.